I miss my Dad. I miss him a lot. I don't understand the choice that he made. I don't understand the timing of the choice he made either. Did he ever realize that there were other options to choose from? Instead of the ultimate final choice that he made? Some days none of this feels real. Some days I feel like I am walking through a fog, everything I do, everything I say, it's all a big fog. Sometimes I don't pay attention to anything that's happening around me and I just mentally "check out". I think this is one of those days.

To make matters worse, I have went on these crazy shopping/spending sprees for the past few weeks and it's finally caught up. We have all but depleted our cash emergency fund and now I am scrambling to make up for it. I was approved to work a couple hours OT tonight and tomorrow, so that will help. Also I'm hoping that I'll be approved to work on Saturday, we'll see.

I'm having a hard time trying to focus on work while I'm at work. I'm having an even harder time with my responsibilities at home too- laundry, housekeeping, preparing meals, etc. But by the time I get home from work, I am wiped out. That's no excuse though. I just need to BUCK UP AND MUSH ON!!!