Winter Blues

God, please grant me strength. Please give me energy. Please give me peace.

I have been "down" for a few weeks now, I hope it's just the winter taking its toll on me. It's been a long winter. We've had many snowstorms, having to trudge through inches and inches and inches of snow. We just had 6 inches of snow on Tuesday night, causing Andy's school to close, and hundreds of area schools and day care centers to close.

Now we are expecting another snowstorm on Friday night, lasting through late Saturday? WJR said anywhere from 5-10 inches of snow. Channel 4 said up to 8 inches of snow. What's it going to be? Too early to tell, I guess.

All I know is that I am down down down, and I need to get back up.

Josh has noticed it. My coworkers have noticed it too. Of course, I'm feeling it.

I've been feeling bloated, worn down, tired, exhausted, stressed, strained, headaches, stomach problems, etc.

I try so hard to ration out my energy throughout the day so I can be happy, chipper, cheerful, bouncy, springy, when Josh gets home from work. But the truth is, I'm worn out. I am worn out by the time he gets home and every night is an absolute struggle for me to stay awake past 9:30-10:00.

I'm so sick of feeling like this. I know it's not a picnic for Josh either. But what am I supposed to do? I could drink a pot of coffee at home after work and pop jet-alert. But that's all false energy. It doesn't last. And Josh would see right through that.

I want to be a good wife, actually, I want to be a great wife. I want to be a great mother- full of energy and always ready to go, go, go. I want to clean the house spotless from top to bottom when I get home from work each day, I want to always have a hot home-cooked meal on the table waiting for my husband when he gets home from his exhausting job. I want to get everyone and everything ready for the next day. I want to do it all the night before- set out the outfits (mine included) for the next day, set the coffee pot, make the lunches, spruce up the bathroom, get all the laundry done and folded and put away. And still have time to read my book before I go to sleep and spend quality time with my husband which we both so desperately need.

I want to get all the things on my "to-do" list done when I say I want to get them done. (which pretty much means, "now!")

And I want to do all of this cheerfully, happy, without an ounce of stress, worrying, or anxiety.

Oh, and I don't want any headaches or stomachaches to get in the way either.

That's not too much to ask for, is it?